As the eve of a new year looms its a good time to reflect and celebrate the year closing. Often the temptation is to focus on the year ahead and set new goals, flirt with resolutions and revisit promises that may have slipped.
What I feel people don't do enough of, is reflect on the year that's drawing to a close. What was the highlight? What moments stand out? What friendships were made? What changes did you note in yourself? What milestones did your family celebrate? Who was there for you when you needed them? What did you enjoy the most about work? What did you learn this year? What did you contribute to the world, to others and your loved ones? What brought you happiness? What are you grateful for? What challenge are you glad you have passed? What did you achieve? These kinds of questions help to focus on what's been important, what's shaped you and your environment this year and how you have grown. 364 days ago you would likely have not predicted the answers to these questions.
How could you. As we know life is curly and that's the truth behind this little journey we are on together.
I'm looking forward to another new and curly year and I am excited at the prospect of a fresh diary to fill with fun and interesting challenges and adventures. But for tonight I'm going to be mindful of the year that's drawing to a close. 2014 which has bought me career challenge, personal accomplishment, a refreshed love of writing, cherished time with my family, a daughter, new friends, and new learning.
I wish all my readers a safe and happy end to 2014 and time to reflect on the journey to here. Tomorrow is a new year and there'll be time enough to focus on that then.
Warmly, RJ
Tuesday, 30 December 2014
Monday, 15 December 2014
In the emotional wake ....
In the emotional wake of events such as those we have seen in the now traumatised heart of Sydney this week, it's natural that the ripple of varied emotions is felt across the nation. Some feel sad, others angry, many feel fear and most shock and disbelief.
Two weeks ago I was in Martin Place for work. I visited the now infamous cafe and watched the busy morning rush go by. Yesterday, like many, I watched the news coverage of the siege in disbelief. This morning I am saddened that lives were lost. I'm effected at the thought of their loved ones left behind and I'm concerned for all those involved directly and indirectly. It will be an event which leaves permanent emotional and psychological wounds, much as the massacre in Port Aurthur did in 1996.
Having lived throught the aftermath felt in Tasmania in the late 1990s, what makes my concern in 2014 even more prominent is the wave of social media and live media coverage of the events as they unfolded. I could hardly believe when the live video feed of the seige "gunfight" showed up in my feed this morning without warning.
It lead me to wonder how this new type of coverage may impact that emotional wake left by these random, shocking and now televised live violent attacks. Are we all now witnesses who are vulnerable to a trauma response? What I do know is that this event will leave a wake and I thought I'd make comment on the emotional and psychological aspect.
Traditionally what we have known about psychological impact following such attacks is those who have experienced or witnessed an event such as this siege in Sydney may go into a state of acute stress reaction.
They/you may feel one or all of these symptoms:
- Recurring thoughts of the incident
- Becoming afraid of everything
- Not leaving the house or going to public places
- Stopiing usual functioning, no longer maintaining daily routines
- Survivor guilt — "Why did I survive? I should have done something more."
- Tremendous sense of loss
- Reluctance to express feelings
- Loss of a sense of control over life
Coping with the aftermath
It's important to reflect on how you are feeling in the wake of these events, even if you were not directly involved. Understand that all these feelings - fear, outrage, anger, sadness, disbelief and so on, are normal reactions to an abnormal situation. If these events trigger memories and responses from previous traumas then that is also an expected response and should be validated. Talk to others about your reactions and ask for assistance as needed. Mental health professionals and counsellors are trained to deal with these responses. Make efforts to maintain normal routines. Limit your exposure to media coverage and social media feeds which continue the exposure to the event. Know children and others can be vicariously traumatised by live media footage and violent images as well as conversations they overhear about the event.
Recognise that the nature of these attacks by extreme (in this case unstable) individuals creates fear and uncertainty about the future. Continue to focus on all the aspects and areas of your life you can control rather than those outside your sphere of control.
It's important to reflect on how you are feeling in the wake of these events, even if you were not directly involved. Understand that all these feelings - fear, outrage, anger, sadness, disbelief and so on, are normal reactions to an abnormal situation. If these events trigger memories and responses from previous traumas then that is also an expected response and should be validated. Talk to others about your reactions and ask for assistance as needed. Mental health professionals and counsellors are trained to deal with these responses. Make efforts to maintain normal routines. Limit your exposure to media coverage and social media feeds which continue the exposure to the event. Know children and others can be vicariously traumatised by live media footage and violent images as well as conversations they overhear about the event.
Recognise that the nature of these attacks by extreme (in this case unstable) individuals creates fear and uncertainty about the future. Continue to focus on all the aspects and areas of your life you can control rather than those outside your sphere of control.
Responses other than trauma
In addition to the outpouring of great sadness, we are also witnessing a heightened anger, particularly towards minority groups which may be associated unfairly with the assailant. Xenophobia — fear or hatred of strangers or foreigners — can be heightened under a terrorist threat and can become a social and psychological danger. The fear generated by terrorism can be exacerbated by a population's diversity if there is distrust between groups, categories and classification of citizens.
It is important to recognise that diversity in a population can be an opportunity for unity and strength. As we have seen with social media campaigns like #illridewithyou, we have an opportunity to make a stand against this type of fear and hatred.
There are members of our diverse society who have experienced past terrorist incidents. The knowledge and experience they have gained from surviving and coping with these incidents can make them a valuable resource and one I hope we have the political and social courage to call upon.
Seeking assistance
If you or someone you know are having trouble coping with these events then consider seeking help from a psychologist or other mental health professional. There are many ways to feel traumatised by terrorist incidents, even if you or your family were not directly involved. Psychologists and other licensed mental health professionals are trained to help people cope and take positive steps toward managing their feelings and behaviours.
In the days that follow my hope is that we look out for one another. Be kind to ourselves as we deal with these events and try to make sense of an inconceivable tragedy Be kind and tolerant towards all our citizens and learn from those who have survived similar traumas in times past.
Let's hope for a peaceful time ahead.
RJ
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